Wednesday, April 06, 2005

I heart librarians gone to seed...

As the breastfeeding trails off and the libido creeps back, I now embrace my recurrent crush on Steven Colbert. Our relationship began with a "Hot For Teacher" crush on his Strangers With Candy character, Mr. Noblet, back in the late '90s. So condescending, so cold, so insincere; just like my real highschool teachers. Just like my boyfriends of the epoque.

Interestingly, the dork-crush superimposed onto Ted-the-food-specialist from Queer Eye for the Straight Guy during my pregnancy last year; probably an indication of my complete abhorrance to the very idea of sex--even my fantasy object had to be gay.

M. is very aware of these crushes, and even finds them endearing. One might ask why. I think the answer is that they indeed confirm that I really, truly am attracted to dorks. It's not difficult to see the resemblance among my husband, Ted the Food Consultant and Steven Colbert. Maybe he justifies that my obsession is in his best self-interest, the same way that I rationalize his interest in "barely eighteen" porn to benefit my concern with my less than impressive chest size.


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